Mayor Pete Pretended Black People Support His Plan Because He’s Shady AF

Awww! Doesn’t he look like an altar boy or a Scientologist or whatever? So earnest! Also, did you know Mayor Pete knows 716 languages, was a Rhodes Scholar, went to the Army, and worked at McKinsey? Not necessarily in that order? Of course you did, he has been praised for it all endlessly. He is ALWAYS being praised. Pete is perfect. Unless you’re not White.

Let’s discuss Mayor Pete. Remember when I named him Mayo Pete and his newly minted stans lost their minds? That was funny. I realize I have discussed him before, and explained exactly why he is so problematic. Many Reasons. This isn’t about to be a confessional about Black voters and homophobia, or an overly critical opprobrium on the failures of Pete to connect, or even a love letter to Pete extolling his virtues. What this is, is another point of view about the Mayor of the Moment. A BLACK point of view.

Last Winter, when Mayor Pete came onto the scene, I kinda rather liked him. Sure, he was whiter than a Liz Warren rally at an HBCU, and yes, the superfluous words he utilizes are grating as fuck, but I liked him. Even so, I did find many of his rhetorical habits to be not only strange, but also shady and filled with the saltiest of salts. Pete knows as surely as I do, that human beings only listen to each other for about ten second at a time before our minds fuck off somewhere. Since Pete can make a 5 second comment last 5 minutes, he is obviously able to employ as many rhetorical tricks as needed to confuse voters into thinking he’s a nice guy.

You might think it’s mean for me to say he is tricking people when he is obviously an Angelic Choir Boy. Too bad you are wrong. I noticed about a month into his campaign that Pete is often saying something rather nasty, yet he does it in the subversive language of a high priced consultant. Which means people don’t even notice how fucked up and deceptive he often is.

An opinion piece by Jaques Hyzagi illustrates the pernicious and problematic falseness of Peter Buttigieg.  This one exchange is a stunning example of the dishonest double talk that gets my hackles up, take a look.

Mediaite:

“Right now you are confident that you don’t have a racism problem in South Bend PD?” I asked

“If I ever get credible evidence of racism on the part of a police officer in South Bend, that ought to be their last day on the department,” he said. (OH REALLY??)

“But you said earlier you can’t fire cops?” I pointed out. (He sure did...)

“Right. So the Board of Safety understands that there is not going to be tolerance —”

“You have that much sway over the Board of Safety?” I interjected. ()

“Well I appoint them. And I’m pretty sure that a majority black Board of Safety is not going to accept racism.”

So why didn’t the Board of Safety fire the officers who were accused of making racist comments on the tapes Boykins recorded? ( Yes, why?)

“One thing you definitely can’t do is you illegally wiretap somebody, is discipline them at their workplace based on illegally obtained evidence,” Buttigieg said. “Remember, these folks sued the city and got a massive settlement over the violation of their rights just from the wiretap stuff alone. So yeah, if the question you’re asking is why somebody wasn’t removed based on potentially illegally obtained information that may or may not have contained anything derogatory on them, then hopefully your question is answering itself.” (See what I mean about him using way too many words to make his point just so he can say something nasty at the end?)

“Not really,” I replied. “Because the city attorneys were using those tapes to fight litigation against the city of South Bend. So you can’t have it both ways. You cannot say, well we’re not going to touch those tapes at all, and then have your own city attorneys ask, ‘What’s on those tapes? So we can fight litigation against South Bend.’”

“So, I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure there’s a difference between what you can do in an administrative proceeding and what you can do in a lawsuit over the existence of the recordings themselves,” Buttigieg replied.

My God you are a grimy pos. Please note that he is saying there is no racism in the South Bend Police Department. This means that every black person we saw complaining this Summer is either a fucking liar, or imagining shit. Go read the whole thing. It confirms your suspicions about his manufactured campaign, and my suspicion that Pete is just Mayor Carcetti come again.

Now, let’s discuss his most recent set of lies, okay?

Recently Pete released his plan for the Negro. He calls it the “Douglass Plan” because when you name things after dead Black Historical Legends is doesn’t make you look desperate. Also, it doesn’t make Black Women laugh and say, “This corny ass pandering muthafucka did NOT name it after Frederick Douglass! OMG, he DID!! HAHAHAHAHA!”

HBCU Times:

There is one presidential candidate who has proven to have intentional policies designed to make a difference in the Black experience, and that’s Pete Buttigieg. We are over 400 South Carolinians, including business owners, pastors, community leaders, and students. Together, we endorse his Douglass Plan for Black America, the most comprehensive roadmap for tackling systemic racism offered by a 2020 presidential candidate.

This is some oven-fried catshit. Also? What’s up with the Super-woke among us overusing the word “intentional” these days?Aren’t all policies INTENTIONAL?

And this:

Written by over 400 South Carolinians who endorsed Pete Buttigieg’s Douglass Plan for Black America. Read a full list of names below..

Oh. This list of 400 names?

Is a LIE.

Intercept:

Listed at the top of the press release were three prominent supporters, Columbia City Councilwoman Tameika Devine; Rehoboth Baptist pastor and state Rep. Ivory Thigpen; and Johnnie Cordero, chair of the state party’s Black Caucus.

They all sound relatively important. Boy he’s lucky to have their endorsement.

But…

Devine, who has not endorsed a candidate yet in the presidential election, told The Intercept that she did not intend her support for the plan to be read as an endorsement for Buttigieg’s candidacy, and believes the campaign was “intentionally vague” about the way it was presented.

Shady as fuck, Pete. Pete should have made damn sure a non-superfluously wordy staffer spoke to her so she’d know they do NOT give a fuck what she’d prefer.

“Clearly from the number of calls I received about my endorsement, I think the way they put it out there wasn’t clear, that it was an endorsement of the plan, and that may have been intentionally vague. I’m political, I know how that works,” she said.

Anyone who knows how to be a word weasel this well should be legally required to sit the fuck down and shut the entire fuck up right now.

Oh, that’s not the only one…

Thigpen, meanwhile, has endorsed Sen. Bernie Sanders for president, and was startled when he learned the campaign had not only attached his name to the plan, but also listed him as one of three prominent supporters atop the letter.

Ain’t this about a bitch and a half? Not only did they swipe a Bernie Brothah, they FEATURED his ass.

But wait!! There’s more!

“Somebody brought it to my attention, and it was alarming to me, because even though I had had conversations with the campaign, it was clear to me, or at least I thought I made it clear to them, that I was a strong Bernie Sanders supporter — actually co-chair of the state, and I was not seeking to endorse their candidate or the plan. But what I had talked about was potentially giving them a quote of support in continuing the conversation, because I do think it’s a very important conversation.”

See this shit? Dude most certainly DID NOT endorse a futhafucking thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnng! He seems a BIT mad about them taking the liberty of writing his name on it like it was a bathroom stall wall at the Flying J Truckstop.

Don’t people have to ask PERMISSION to attach your name to things? Cause if not? Michelle Obama is about to be fake endorsing all of my as of yet unthought of business ventures. I called her first, back the fuck off.

Here is the explainer on how this fuckery happened.

Here is a full view of the email from Pete’s campaign.

You see this shit?Just by receiving the plan and discussing it with him, you are automatically endorsing it. What the shitski? And they only had hours to get their name removed from a thing they never asked ANYONE to put their names on. This is disturbing.

Janky Pete is so predictable. Reminds me of that time Bernie let Brie Brie make a video for his campaign out of stock images and some of the weirdest energy clips of herself inserted.

 

OOPS!!! My BAD!! Hold on, I have the real one around here somewhere…

 

If that ain’t some late night Post-e-vac looking ass Ron Popeil ass shit. So, if Bernie is running the infomercial campaign, what would we call Pete’s wack ass, forced endorsement style pandering campaign? Well, whatever it is, people ain’t having it. So far two of the most prominent voices have noped the fuck out.

Oh there’s another one!

Johnnie Cordero is no longer listed publicly as a supporter. When The Intercept reached him for comment, he explained that he had never endorsed the plan, nor has he endorsed Buttigieg. “I never endorsed that plan. I don’t know how my name got on there. No, that’s not true: I know how my name got on there,” Cordero began, before explaining that Buttigieg had emailed him the plan and asked for feedback, which began a conversation with Buttigieg’s staff. 

Y’all..HE IS MAD, OKAY? This is making me feel cynical as hell. This is gross in the extreme. It’s also very kinda super sad. Pete is so desperate for the Black support that so many white candidates simply forgot they needed until they announced their run.

Mr. Cordero went on to ask the reporter if they were Black, and I know exactly why he asked that. I’m not going to tell you why because it is a secret Black thing we don’t want you to know about. Sadly, the reporter was not Wakandan, so, he didn’t tell him the top secret Blackistani information, but he gave him the heat, regardless.

“I’m not going to change what I’m going to say. It’s presumptuous to think you can come up with a plan for black America without hearing from black folk. There’s nothing in there that said black folk had anything to do with the drafting of that plan. Now I like Pete, please don’t get me wrong. I’ll help him in any way I can. I think he’s an honest man, I think he’s a decent man, I think he has integrity. I’d like to see him keep running. But you don’t do that. Those days are over and done with. We’re tired of people telling us what we need. You wanna find out what we need? Come and ask us.”

How 👏🏽many👏🏽 times 👏🏽have👏🏽 I 👏🏽said 👏🏽this👏🏽? Oh. I’m in the room alone. I actually stood up and clapped. SMH.

From Slate:

A problem: When the Intercept dug into the endorsement, it found that two of the three top-line black politicians listed say they never endorsed the Douglass Plan, and that at least 40 percent of the other 400 individuals whose names are listed are white.

Ummm?

Wretch, what you say? I thought you said 400 BLACK South Carolinians?? Awww….Let me stop playing. I’m over here trying to pretend to be surprised that Pete had to resort to using white people as filler. We could just be proud of him for finding enough Black People so that 60% of his Black Folks are actual Black Folks. But that would be what has been called “The Bigotry of Low Expectations” or somesuch, and I am also fresh the fuck out of passes for white men. Women too.

This is sickening, deceptive, and fucked up in the extreme. I guess since he can’t win our votes honestly, he’s resorting to underhanded GOP style tricks. Look, I don’t know how to say this in a kind way. Pete ain’t it. He’s so “ain’t it,” he has me over here on Twitter getting retweeted by Berniebros. He’s so ain’t it, I stopped Blocking the Roses, because they make all types of sense when it comes to Pete. He’s so ain’t it, Frederick Douglass’s ghost just asked me how to get his name up off Pete’s plan.

If you have to trick Black people into endorsing your plan by making it secretly an opt out endorsement that they only have hours to get out of when they never knew they were in? You don’t DESERVE any Black votes, or any votes at all. Please go have a hundred million seats, Peter.

It’s kinda sickening how politicians treat Black people. I’m tired of it.

Just wake me up when Trump’s gone. I’m over everything.

Please contribute to Brave News Blog today~we will be interviewing K-Hive nationwide, and we can’t do it without you. Send a few bucks to Brave on Paypal or Venmo.

 

HBCU Times

Intercept

Slate

Memorandum

Mediaite

Yes Mayor Pete DID Blame Obama For Trump’s Win, He Blamed Hillary Too!

SHUT UP, PETER!!

Pete “the Wunderkind” Buttigieg is having a little problemo with words today. And no, I’m not talking about how he uses 1,500 words when only 75 are necessary, or his sprinkling $10 words in places they really are unneeded. This time, his carefully couched, artful yet harsh, insults of former President Barack Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton are coming back on that ass. All of his oh-so-clever dogwhistles have finally reached ears that heard them for what they were and either accidentally translated them or perhaps heard them perfectly well. We are not sure.

New Age Teddy Ruxpin, aka Pete Buttigieg was quoted saying something extra trash about Barack Obama. When I heard it, I was the opposite of shocked, in fact, my only surprise was he said it in so few words. This was seriously unlike how he usually takes the mealy mouth approach to backstabbing the President he claims to be like. HAHAHAHA! Sit down, Peter.

Pete was quoted in a LA Times article, now “corrected”, as saying Trump is the result of the failures of the Obama Administration. As Peter has said similar before, I was kinda surprised at the push back and eventual correction by Evan Halper. To be honest, I don’t believe him yet. Maybe if I heard the audio myself I would believe Halper wasn’t simply bullied into believing he heard something else. Not only that, but Pete own communications staffer, not sure of her title, maybe communications director, eh? Well, she came out ready to take it to the bricks defending him.

Oh look! The Obama Era failure had nothing to do with Obama or his policies, somehow Obama is completely detached from from the “old way” which was “his” way, of doing business. As Lis clearly states, the OBAMA ERA is what gave us Trump. What does Obama have to do with the Obama Era? Duh.

The “Old Normal” would be? The way Obama did things? Hmmm. So, how is this any different besides he dog-whistled Obama rather than naming him out right? Jinkies! Time for some Blues Clues! Now, where might I find evidence that Pete DID mean Obama? That’s right, Google! See, Pete wants you to believe that the “old normal” that we all lived under and Obama operated under that failed and delivered Trump unto us had NOTHING to do with Obama AT ALL. Nope! How could we think he meant that Obama’s politics were how we got Trump? For Shame!!!!

Let’s see what Charlie Nash has to say!

Mediaite:

Despite recent confusion over whether 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg did blame former President Barack Obama for the rise of President Donald Trump in an interview with LA Times reporter Evan Halper, another video interview with NBC News’ John Heilemann shows that he did attribute at least some blame to the former president.

What’s that now? Pete DID blame Obama? In what respect, Charlie?

“Well, I guess I would put a twist on it,” replied Buttigieg. “So we definitely have to get beyond fight, fight, fight. But, I also don’t believe that we can go back. I don’t think there’s going back to Obama, I don’t think there’s going back to Clinton. I think that the world we’ve been in, the American political world we’ve been in, from the day I was born, has been blown up.”

Of COURSE we can’t go back, Pete! Why MUST you use so many damn words? Just say what you’re trying to say without getting cute, bro.

After being asked what blew it up, Buttigieg explained, “By its own failures which culminated in Trump.

Oh oh, Spaghetti-O! The Obama AND Clinton world gave us Trump? Not the racism or the bigotry, the xenophobia, and the unfettered sexism, along Russian cyber attacks, white backlash, and fear mongering? So, Trump and his voters are completely innocent? Wow, Pete. Is Petey GASLIGHTING us? Pedro. It’s not okay to pretend you would NEVER blame Obama, When you CLEARLY just blamed Obama. Why are we even arguing about this?

Roll the tape!

On this tape it kinda looks like the statement “The failures of the Obama Era help explain how we got Trump,” sound like an accurate paraphrase of what he’s saying on this video. Hmmm.

On Monday, after an alleged controversial quote from Buttigieg that read, “The failures of the Obama era help explain how we got Trump,” went viral, Halper was forced to correct his interview article and claim that Buttigieg had actually said, “failures of the old normal.”

I don’t believe you. I wanna hear the recording for myself. Even if he didn’t say it then, it’s clear he has said it in the past, it’s just that he used a million words to say the same thing.

From Washington Post Mag:

 “I organized a Union Hall event for her in South Bend,” he says, and shakes his head. “You could just tell the enthusiasm wasn’t there.” The problem, he says, was partly that the stakes seemed too low. “We need a bigger scope of ambition for people to rally around.” A return to the Clinton and Obama style of centrist incrementalism, he says, will invite disaster just as surely in 2020. “Change is something we need to face with clear eyes. It’s scary, but it’s also exciting.”

Hi, Pete. Did you just blame Clinton and Obama style of centrist incrementalism for Trump, sugar? You’re supposed to be the decent, young, honest choirboy in the race, and lying just soils up your image. If someone with my lazy ass google skills can find you talking the same shit, anyone can.

Take a look at this tweet from January where Pete went in on Hillary Clinton.

While Trump was blowing his anti-immigrant, anti-black dogwhistle of “Make America Great Again” Hillary was telling us that WE made America great, that all of the cultures that accumulated here were what made America America, and that no time in the past was greater for all of us that at that time. Honestly, she was right. Pete apparently took exception to that, and issued an attack on Hillary’s assertion that we were ALREADY a great nation and that Trump was trying to take us back to a dark time in history.

From Huffington Post:

Nick Merrill, who serves as Clinton’s spokesperson, expressed outrage Friday over a January Washington Post Magazine article in which Buttigieg, a fellow Democrat, argued that President Donald Trump rose to power “because, in his twisted way, he pointed out the huge troubles in our economy and our democracy.”

Trump rose to power because of his Idiot Savant like diagnosis of the troubles with our Democracy? Why were his MAGA people beating up protesters with Trump egging them on? What about him accusing Mexico of sending rapists? Or him fear-mongering about Chicago? Or the “Build the wall!!” chants that rose nightly at his events? None of that drove his rise to power? Really? It was all the Obama and Clinton Era failures?

Buttigieg then called out former candidate Clinton, adding that Trump “didn’t go around saying that America was already great, like Hillary did.”

Merrill denounced the comments and praised Clinton’s platforms, pointing out that “Trump ran on pessimism, racism, false promises, & vitriol.”

“Interpret that how you want, but there are 66,000,000 people who disagree,” he said. “Good luck.”

Okay? Oh, and Pete? ~66 million voted for HILLARY, not TRUMP, boo. Check your fucking self, Doogie Howser.

As you can clearly see, Peter Buttigieg, or Mayo Pete as I like to call him, is kind of fucking deceptive. Until I hear the recording for myself, I’ll just believe the first version since it’s not like it’s the first time I heard him blame the first Black President for the rise of the worst White President ever. Somehow Pete always manages to blame only Democrats, and usually just a black one and a woman for the horror that is Trump. He never mentions the madness of that racist campaign, the vile sexism, the ignorance of the mobs of xenophobic MAGA men, the cyber war against Hillary, or the anti-black backlash of white America.

If you have ever wondered why Pete does so poorly with black audiences, look no further than his attacks on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

 

And now it’s time to support your favorite Kamala Blog, buy me weed, and help pay for all of these freaking subscriptions by donating via paypal or venmo.

 

It’s Debate Day! Also Time For Marianne (and Those Guys Whose Names I Forgot) To Drop Out!

Time for another Democratic Debate! Are you super ready to lose your goddamn mind watching the biggest, most dumbest, all together extra batshit show of your life? Besides Trump’s show, I mean? NO?!

Well, too fucking bad, you get what the DNC gives you, and you like it or else!

On Tuesday night, the top dozen Democratic candidates are set to appear at the party’s fourth 2020 primary debate, set at Otterbein University in Westerville, Ohio, starting at 5 p.m. Pacific. The debate, co-hosted by CNN and the New York Times, will be broadcast on CNN and streamed online at cnn.com and nytimes.com, as well as on the outlets’ apps.

I mean, really. Whose dumbass idea was it to stuff 12 Dems on one stage, not give them ANY weed, and just hope for the best? Tom Perez, if this was your idea, maybe you need to calm down on having ideas from now on, because I haven’t thought much of your ideas since the stupid ass “unity” commission. Boy oh boy, that sure didn’t fucking work at all as far as “unity” is concerned. Yet it did manage to marginalize Black Democrats and alienate Hillary voters, so, at least you got something out of your time heading the DNC, Tom.

Great, thanks a lot for midterms though, I’m just gonna give you some credit for that one thing ever, and that’s it, because you are on my bad side. Uh huh. Now you know. And the way you have set up the debates? You’ll never make it out of Badside-land. You might as well get comfortable.

Speaking of Badside-land, we have 12, yes I said 12 candidates, who will be participating in the debate tonight, and one of them is NOT Marianne Williamson. I just wanted to remind you that the Queen of Emo-Woo is not a real candidate, and as such, people aren’t choosing her name in polls very often. I find this comforting as fuck. As shitty as our nation can be at voting (TRUMP), it seems we are trying to curb the stupider angels of our nature, and I am so fucking here for this no Marianne business. That blatherskite loves to natter on and on about the most strugglesome “love” tommyrot ever heard by anything with ears. Gah. I just think Marianne Williamson is weird as all hell, and I hear she hangs out with Tulsi Gabbard, so… Yeah. No.

On the stage tonight we will have ERRY DAMN BODY ELSE. From left to right on the stage will be; Tulsi Gabbard, Tom Steyer, Corey Booker, Kamala Harris, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Pete Buttigieg, Andrew Yang, Beto O’Rourke, Amy Kloubuchar, and Julián Castro. If you are not on this stage, you are not running for President anymore, okay? Marianne? You needn’t be sad over this. I hear Area 51 still doesn’t have a Queen, please go there, thanks, bye.

We have some other people who will be missing from the stage that Marianne can take to Area 51 with her. Senator Michael Bennet who is nice, yet incredulous, former Rep. John Delaney whose face is like your dad’s when you turned out to be a failure, Montana Gov. Steve Bullock who already has a job and could even get a new one in the Senate. Rep. Tim Ryan who said one good thing I liked one time won’t be there, and neither will former Rep. Joe Sestak who I seem to remember losing Senate races, or maybe I made that up.

I personally believe we still have too many goddamn candidates!! I’m going to be good and refrain from calling Marianne out again because that would be way too many times not to be sexism if I were a man, but I’m just saying I almost trust every man on that stage more than her. Not because she’s a woman, you asshole. Because she believes the movie Avatar is like the holy grail of explaining whatever, I really don’t ever understand her, and that’s fucking unusual. We are both supposedly speaking English.

 


See? No idea what the fuck she’s talking about. Watched it twice again Nothing. None of that shit explained Trumpass, this stupidest trade war of trade wars, how internet trolls could fuck off an election, aspic, hot dog pie, or people eating mayonnaise on EVERYTHING. Even hot dogs and french fries. Pizza. I’m not watching Avatar again, Lady. It didn’t explain shit.

 

So, this has been your pre debate explainer, I will write a round-up letting you know who Tulsi kneecapped, who Bernie yelled at, how cool Kamala was, if Auntie Granny Liz ever answered a direct question, how Julian and Biden: Round 2 shakes out, and if I remember anything Pete says. The candidates are getting ready to take the stage and I am getting all my snacks in order, let’s live blog this bitch on Twitter.

 

 

 

LA Times

THE REVOLUTION WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER, NATE SILVER.

If you’ve been on Dem Primary Twitter the past two days you may have noticed a complete fucking meltdown going on over fake shit. The wailings and gnashings of teeth by Bernie’s disciples are so utterly obnoxious at this point that even if they had started out on the right side of things (they didn’t) they’ve acted too stupidly foolish for anyone with even half a brain to concede ANY point by now. It’s at the point now where I’m ready to call out a heartfelt RIP and pour out a 40 of Old E for Bernie’s dead ass campaign. Is this bullshit EVER going to end? Even Susan Sarandon, who I do not love, made her obnoxious ass voice heard on this bullshit ass manufactured never-ending issue. It’s PANDEMONIUM!!

It all started with that mild-mannered statistics nerd, Nate Silver typing words. But… Why get mad? He’s not even half as hyperactive as that other nerd, Steve Kornacki, (who loves numbers so much he seems positively giddy when explaining how bad we’re going to lose) yet we don’t bother to get mad at Kornacki.

What has Nate done that is so wrong? I’ll tell you. Nate Silver has gone and done what most of the media refuses to bother with—he told Bernie that his campaign is failing, AND—- he said a magic bad Mc RACIST word. He said…Residue.

Residue? Um? Since when has residue been a racist term?

Since Bernie’s campaign started failing.

Okay, so maybe your finely tuned racism detector missed the racism in the residue? Mine too. Could it be you’re more concerned with words that actually have a history of being used in a racially derogatory way? Perhaps you remember that time Bernie wrote a book where he used much worse language? Yeah.

This cycle, unlike 2016 when Hillary had a lock on the Black Vote, Berners have been bragging about how much more diverse Bernie’s movement is. They’ve replaced that tired old 2017 Harvard Harris poll with polls showing how much PoC just love Uncle Struggle Chicken. It’s legit annoying because NOBODY actually asks them or invites them over for any conversation whatsoever.

Nate of Obvious-ville simply pointed out the obvious to one of the random Diversity Bros, take a look.

 

Nate is right.

All Nate was saying is that white voters are fleeing Bernie’s rude, yelling self for Warren’s tiny Power Fisted “We gotta fight!” speeches and Okie shrugs, therefore the Struggle Berners who remain simply SEEM darker. Old Man River did not actually attract one extra dark person to his movement.

Nate even “put it another way” and explained further.

 

Basically, white folks noticed the ship was sinking first and started jumping the fuck off before PoC began backing away slowly and getting the fuck on out of there. So, sure, the remainder is concentrated with the PoC who haven’t headed overboard off the Berning ship.

 

Nerd joke! Heh. Is de Blasio still running? If so, I dreamed he dropped out, if not, stop bringing him up, we need a few more to quietly follow him.

So, this series of tweets by Nate Silver did not bother me one damn bit. I saw them, got my usual schadenfreude fix from Bernie’s ruin, and kept it pushing. Soooo… Why the fuck did these assholes make “Residue” trend? BECAUSE OF THE RACISM!!! Brie Brie named herself something stupid as hell, Residue Rococo  Racism, maybe. She has an art degree. I think. I refuse to look it up, so, don’t bother correcting me if I’m wrong.

I don’t care.

My first thought upon hearing Nate Silver suddenly became Nathan Bedford Forrest was literally, “Uh oh! Spaghetti-o! Uncle Struggle called us N*ggers in his book, tho!” I mean, really. He did.

From Mediaite:

“For a hundred years, the white workers of the South were the most exploited white workers in America. They were paid the lowest wages, they endured the worst working conditions, their housing was abysmal, their kids went to the most backward schools, and very few could send their children to college. But what did they have? They were given ‘niggers’ to hate and look down on, ‘niggers’ who couldn’t vote, drink at their water fountains, use the same bathrooms, or sit up front in the buses or movie theaters.”

Poor racist White People! They have so many burdens, luckily, Bernie completely sympathizes with their racism, and also, shows he knows how to use racial slurs for absolutely no reason. Just like them!

Is the word Bernie used the actual magic bad Mc RACIST word? Well, I can see why you don’t like that very much. I don’t like it much myself. Shameful.

But…..

Guess what?

I will have you know that when Bernie does something you don’t like, you’re just a stupid fucking assbag for not appreciating how much Bernie has done for you. He HAD to use that word for the shock value, especially since it’s been told better in various ways by many different people since ~1968 without using that word.

People have told it far better, way funnier, in a more compelling way, and it was received better by ALL people since they weren’t triggering Black People to absolve poor Whites of responsibility for being the field agents of White Supremacy.

Nina had no idea what the fuck was going on, and I’m sure Bernie would have picked her for VP, so that’s kinda troubling.

What is Brie Brie’s job? All I ever see her do is troll people on Twitter, send swarms after Dems, and quote tweet “bad supporters” of other candidates to prove Berners are not that bad because other people are bad too.

Nate doesn’t seem to be concerned with the Chads who are crying in his mentions about how much racial pain their white asses are in over how Brie Brie feels about them all being residue. Because he meant ALL of them, not just the dark ones. So, this whole thing is a made-up controversy, and the tantrum is fake too. I’m still scratching my head on why they thought we were all going to fall for it just because they tried it.

 

We are now at the Area 51 Qanon phase of Residue-gate. Yay.

There’s always a conspiracy in Bernie-land, some new oppression that they made up for Bernie to use as an excuse for not winning is inevitable. Berners STAY blaming media outlets, pundits, the DNC, and Neera Tanden; every time Bernie drops in a poll, the bratty ones show up to claim victimhood for Bernie. Pretty sure they have Bernie’s full blessing since he does the same ass shit.

 

SHHHAAAADE!!!!!! Nerd shade is so matter of fact that I believe no more needs to be said. Bernie’s campaign is failing, his supporters are annoying, and “residue” is a term used in statistics, not some new wunderkind way of being racist. I’ll be the first one to admit, I will not be sad to see the end of this failed Sanders campaign. Uncle Struggle Chicken gave it his best shot.

His best just isn’t good enough.

 

Heavy

 

Please help support my blog so I can pay for all of my newspaper subscriptions…and the weed I have to smoke to live through this fresh hell……I accept Venmo or Paypal

Did Candace Owens Beg T.I. To Return Her Struggle Edges Before She Went To Congress?

Guess what happened this week? Yep. That ashy hotepess, Candace “I got mine” Owens, took her dry, patchy ass struggle edges to Congress just to blame black people for White Supremacy again. Every single complaint she had about Black People can be chalked up to the unfettered White Supremacy we are forced to endure.

Everything from “lack of black fathers in the home” (Thanks, Mass Incarceration!) to the struggles young Black boys have with literacy (Thank you Institutional Racism and the School to Prison Pipeline!) are a direct result of racism in our institutions. Listening to her is pretty much a complete waste of time.

Now, I’m not saying her jiggin’ and jivin’ ass doesn’t have the right to represent the 8% of negroes who still think the white man’s ice is colder, but I am saying she’s a fucking sell out. People say, “Yo B, what was that you said about Candace this morning?” And I tell them like this:

“I said I will snatch Candace Owens’ edges so hard, it will wax her pussy. ”

I mean that shit.

So let’s begin.

Candace Owens had her first brush with fame from being the VICTIM of the very same racism she says is not a problem these days. The racist incident she experienced happened around the time when her “Just for Me” relaxers stopped working back in highschool. Yet, she persisted in using that same box of mild chemicals, apparently, because that sweated out press ‘n curl she wore to Congress revealed her little baby astroknots to all and sundry this morning.

We all remember the days when moms and auntie Debbie used to gather around the stove to “bump them edges out” back in the ’80s, so I feel rather sorry for Candace that she never had a similar experience. Might have learned a thing or two. 

But, I do digress.

Here is her dumb ass in Congress, courtesy of Jordan Uhl, (thank you, Jordan), and she is raggedy as fuck, both in attitude, edges, and intent.

See how at first you thought I was being mean about her edges, but now you’re fully on my side?

What many of y’all don’t know, is she took her ridiculous ass to the Revolt Summit and looked like a gat damn fool. Even Katrina’s punkass didn’t show the fuck out like Candace, nor did she end up getting her ass dragged from coast to coast.

You can watch the entire thing here:

While T.I. was passionately speaking FOR the black community to uplift ourselves, and demand change, lil Tink Tink had her fun talking bad about the black community. And getting booed. Killer Mike focused on real shit like economic factors, black gun rights, and creating more economic opportunity and role models for black men, women, and our children, which is a good thing.  Candace couldn’t even figure out when America was so great that Trump needs to take us back there. I may not be the biggest Killer Mike fan in the world, we are on opposing sides of the whole Bernie situation, but how could this woman hear the words out of his mouth and then take her strugglesome self to Congress perpetrating like that? Pays the bills, I suppose.

She took the opportunity she was given to speak on any issue she wanted,  and she used it to attack Latinos, say black kids can’t read, and that black women don’t have enough babies. (Um, bish, why don’t you have some?) Honestly, she was so bad she pissed black people the entire fuck off, but Killer Mike says he has respect for ALL black women. So when he has the mic, he makes them let her ass talk. Unfortunately for us, he was extra respect that day. But one more thing, as an aside…

WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T I KNOW KATRINA PIERSON WAS BLACK? (We will discuss how you can shuck and jive your way past the most finely tuned Black-dar in America another time)

Okay. The entire time either of these two sliggadells, Katrina or Candace, had something to say the entire crowd was upset. If you watch the forum, you will see that Candace Owens thinks Black people are so stupid and triggered, the mere utterance of the word “racist” causes us to discombobulate to the point where we just vote for whichever white person accuses the other white people of being racist most emphatically. But that’s not even the dumbest part of Calvin Candy–oops- I mean Candace Owen’s performance there on stage. It got worse.

This ridiculous Auntie was asked by T.I. which period was so great that Trump NEEDS to take us back there… She came with bullshit that was so weak and played out, T.I. went ahead and snatched her edges for me.

Edges snatched

“I-I-I-I I think I would totally rock a hat that said ‘Make Black America great again.”

Yes. That’s what that stupaloop had to say about what period Trump was trying to take us back to.

Maybe if her grandmother had had a powder blue plastic-covered couch, and a living room that nobody was allowed to go in, she would have learned the fine art of edge maintenance. Perhaps if she had gone to Church anywhere near Crenshaw, where you got judged by other black people on how well you presented yourself AS WELL as on your appearance, she’d know better. Unfortunately, this is Candace the Brilliant Bad-ass Beautiful Bumble-Negress I’m talking about, and you can’t teach her ashy ass shit.

Back to the Congress situation…

Mark Meadows, the one who thinks having a black friend means you cannot be racist, was delighted to have Candace speak on behalf of the GOP. His bloodshot eyes filled with a paternalistic glee not seen since before Kizzy got pregnant with Chicken George. This is not to say Ms. Candace is in any way subservient, oh no no no, never that. As she was fully into her performative blackness, she was the Queen of Knowing What Is Really Wrong With Black People. Funny how detached she seems from the rest of us, off to the side with her Chosen Chad pointing and mocking us unenlightened negroes, and broadcasting our “Black folk business” to White America.

I do not like Candace Owens. As I was writing this delightful piece, I received a notification that I am in Twitter jail for a charming Tweet about Ms. Missy who lives in the Big House. So, unfortunately, you may not read this wonderful blog post until tomorrow, but that is fine, you can send me money for weed then. I’ll wait.