3 Times You Wished Kamala Harris Was Queen of EVERYTHING

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Oh, Hai. Kamala Harris should be Queen of Everything, and it’s time for y’all to accept that.

Lately people seem to have forgotten just how awesome Kamala Harris is, so it’s time to remind you just how Queen she can be. I won’t just tell you, I will show you. There were three times (more really) that Kamala Harris was the undisputed champion of bringing the pain to the GOP. We are going to watch these videos, enjoy these videos, and then we will imagine her debating Trump. Laughter will ensue just by our picturing him shitting himself once he realizes there are literally zero crimes he can accuse her of to deflect from his own criminal enterprise.

As a Black Woman, I know how scary we are to White Men. White men have this strange fear of Black Women who are under 5’5″ tall. Perhaps they know we have a Multi-Cultural Short Women’s Revenge Army that goes around to all the wholesale AND retail stores. Do they suspect it’s our fault when tiny White Women get too close, and deftly bang those huge fucking carts into the back of unsuspecting men’s legs? It’s us. We are nationwide. So many tiny apologetic women who secretly are not one bit sorry are enough to break even the strongest man down. I’d fear us too. Kamala is our Queen. Be careful.

We are coming for you.

But I digress… You remember way back when Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III was working his way through confirmation? No? Well, while you were sitting around coming up with clever names like, “The Keebler Klanner” someone smarter than you was busy preparing to make his life miserable. Yes, Kamala Harris, the “Jewel of the Senate” was busy going through his entire LIFE looking for one thing that might trip him up.

Look how she got at him. Oh boy!!! A Southern Gentleman getting dragged by a Black Woman is super satisfying. At the time, I felt like he was very fucking evasive. I still feel that way. In reality, what Sessions was doing was trying to run out the clock without doing TOO MUCH perjury. Not sure he managed that, but he certainly didn’t do as bad as the man who took over his position later.

Let’s look at the best part:

“Will you let me qualify it? If I don’t qualify it you’ll accuse me of lying. So I need to be correct as best I can and I’m not able to be rushed this fast. It makes me nervous.” 

Boy oh boy did her series of questions upset his equilibrium! Imagine Trump trying to debate her? I wouldn’t put it past Trump to simply refuse, claim harassment, and try to have Maya and Meena investigated by Ukraine.

I know this is out of order, but I wanted you to see how gross and tricksy these two White House Hobbits are. Barr, for his part, has no fucking clue what the word “suggested” even means!! Of course, the more questions Kamala asked, the less Barr knew about ANYTHING. It was clear, he had no idea what he was up against, even though he should have. Indeed, only a year before, she broke Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III down so bad he was whining like a little boy about being scared.

Nevertheless, Barr did his BEST to be stoic, to not answer a fucking thing straight or agree to shit, and to talk over her. Regardless of what his plan was, Kamala doesn’t allow men to interrupt or talk too much. It is known. All he ended up doing was playing right into her hands, and finished out the session stuttering and lying.

GQ.Com:

HARRIS: Has the president or anyone at White House ever asked or suggested that you open an investigation of anyone? Yes or no please, sir.

BARR: “The president or anybody else?”

HARRIS: Seems you would remember something like that, and tell us.

BARR: Yeah, but I’m trying to grapple with the word “suggest.” There have been discussions of matters out there that they have not asked me to open an investigation.

HARRIS: Perhaps they’ve “suggested”?

BARR: I wouldn’t say suggest.

HARRIS: “Hinted”?

BARR: I don’t know.

HARRIS: “Inferred”? You don’t know? Okay.

I think she meant “implied” but her point stands. Bill Bar was deceptive as fuck and she shook him like a bottle of baby formula; by the end, he looked like he saw prison bars in his future.


Remember this guy?? He likes Beer, Basketball, has a homey named Squi, and somehow has every fucking calendar he has owned from the 1970s until today! Isn’t that weird as fuck? On top of that, it’s also weird as fuck that women have accused him of sexual assault, yet the Senate confirmed him to the Supreme Court very easily. Another thing that’s weird as fuck, is how Mike Lee tried to save Kavanaugh from his very sudden memory problems. Ironically, the man who remembers what he was doing every night in 1984, suddenly cannot recall who he talked to within a year, and needs and employee roster to know who he spoke to. Wow.

Brett Kavanaugh, or Schrodinger’s Rapist as I like to call him, love floor-plans and hates questions. Unless they are about drinking beer, studying, or lifting weights. Those questions don’t make him cry.  Please don’t  be like Kamala and ask him something super difficult like, “have you talked to people who work there about Mueller?” The mental anguish he suffered in the wake of not answering anything must have been an unbearable load. I recall the feeling I had when I heard we had ruined his life by demanding he answer questions. I felt nothing for him whatsoever. Ok, maybe a bit of contempt.

I will leave you with a FREE BONUS VIDEO of Kamala Harris answering the TOUGH QUESTION of, “are you open to being Biden’s Vice President?” No, it doesn’t go with the theme I set up, but I wrote the blog post and you didn’t so STFU and watch what I wanna watch. It’s my favorite video besides Gay Pride Rainbow Jacket Day.

 

 

I told you it was the best.

Have another video!!

I know. She’s awesome.

One more!!!

 

You love it.

Now be good and buy me weed, or Black Friday will be hell on your ankle-backs once my Short Army catches up to you. Watch your back.

 

And now it’s time to support your favorite Kamala Blog, buy me weed, and help pay for all of these freaking subscriptions by donating via paypal or venmo.

 

GQ.Com

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Ms. Adrineh
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Ms. Adrineh

She *is* awesome!

King Beauregard
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King Beauregard

“As a Black Woman, I know how scary we are to White Men. White men have this strange fear of Black Women who are under 5’5″ tall.” As a White Man, I have a theory about this. When it’s an argument between a white guy and a black guy, the white guy can make like he was being bullied — it’s a craven move, but it’s one that white guys can employ pretty reliably, because his friends are likely to assume that the black guy was at least two feet taller than him and armed with at least four more… Read more »