I really do not like Tulsi Gabbard. At all. It’s not her looks, her plastic mannerisms, or her constant need to define “Aloha!” for all and sundry. The superficial taunts I periodically lob her way are just a manifestation of my inability to articulate the many and varied ways she bothers me. I do not like her personality, her double talk, her coldness, or her deceptive nature.
I said I wasn’t going to start out railing against Tulsi for personal or superficial defects, or do that thing where we obsessively critique the clothing, grooming, and make-up choices of the women running for President. So, I promise I won’t. Although I’d love to beat my friend Chris to the punch in starting the “Liz Warren Auntie MacGillicuddy Campaign Sweater Blog” and the “Why does Tulsi Wear Body Glitter? Blog” or even the “What’s Pete Wearing Today? Oh, Samesies? Blog” it would not have been fair to do so while also publishing the “Kamala Looks Queen Again Today Blog” or so I have been told. The “Bernie Got A New Shirt, Wow. Blog” is on hold as well.
I’m not really snitty enough to actually write any of these blogs, but I am snitty enough to write this blog post about Tulsi Fucking Gabbard, and how she needs to drop the fuck out of the race and spare me the bullshit of Shawna’s trolling and these fucking Russians trying to hack my goddamn blog. Shawna is a Gabbard-stan who often claims we are anti-religious bigots, just so I can remind her that I’m an atheist and would probably have been executed by her religious folks back in the day, or at least been shunned to death. I do not enjoy conversations with her. She is mean. But I digress. Tulsi. Is. Trash. Garbage. Rubbish. Basura. And that’s just facts.
Let me tell you why we are even discussing this woman who many didn’t know existed until this weekend: Hillary Clinton. You’re Goddamn right we wouldn’t be talking about her if it weren’t for Hillary, this is because people pay attention whenever Hillary speaks. Tulsi knows this, and just by being mentioned she saw an opportunity to take some of Hillary’s shine, and rub it all over her bony chest like cheap ass body glitter. Now she gets to play the innocent victim of Hillary the Assassin, and BOY is she milking the fuck out of that shit.
Hillary Clinton sat on down with David Plouffe, who worked for Obama at one point, for an interview on his Campaign HQ podcast. If you have watched any news or spent the shortest amount of time on social media since Friday, you have probably witnessed dicks falling off left and right. This interview is why.
Let me first say that I listened to the entire podcast, I am actually listening to it again right now. I did not hear the name Tulsi Gabbard come up. Maybe I just missed it, maybe it was obvious who Hillary was talking about, and maybe too, Gabbard has just a teeny weeny little bit of guilt in her trip that led her to melt the whole fuck down.
Here is what Hillary actually said.
“I’m not making any predictions,” she said, “but I think they’ve got their eye on somebody who is currently in the Democratic primary and are grooming her to be the third-party candidate. She’s the favorite of the Russians. They have a bunch of sites and bots and other ways of supporting her so far.”
Okay. I can see how this clearly refers to Gabbard, because she is the only woman getting this extreme amount of support from these troll storms. They are definitely NOT supporting Kamala Harris, she’s Black. And she’s a cop who will arrest them, I suppose.
And this part too:
She did not name Ms. Gabbard in that interview, but her target was clear. Nick Merrill, a spokesman for Mrs. Clinton, told NBC News, “if the nesting doll fits,” when he was asked to confirm that Mrs. Clinton had been referring to Ms. Gabbard.
Heh. Nesting dolls.
And this too was worth many epic melodramas:
Mr. Merrill said late Friday evening that Mrs. Clinton’s initial “grooming” claim had referred to Republicans, not Russia, as initially reported. Mrs. Clinton then brought up Russia in the podcast interview, saying Ms. Gabbard was the Kremlin’s preferred candidate.
Okay, so, I am still looking for the lies? I haven’t even heard Tulsi answer the question on whether she is a part of a Russian Sleeper Cell or not.
From Crooks and Liars:
TUCKER: So just to the factual point first, are you a Russian sleeper cell?
Note that he asked her a “Yes or No” question.
GABBARD: Look, here, let me tell you what this is about. This is about Hillary Clinton sending a very strong message, saying that because I am and have long been calling for an end to our country’s foreign policy of waging one regime change war after the next, the likes of which we’ve seen in Iraq, in Libya and ongoing in Syria. And because I’m calling for an end to this new Cold War and nuclear arms race, that I am a Russian asset and that I am a traitor to the nation that I love. (Um? She said the GOP was grooming you.)
And not only are they saying that about me, they are basically saying — sending this message out to every veteran in this country, every Service Member, every American, anyone watching at home who was fighting for peace and who was calling for an end to these regime change wars, this new Cold War and arms race, they are saying that you are also a Russian asset and that you are also a traitor to this country. That’s really what’s happening here.
No that is the fuck not what’s happening, Tulsi, please go fuck yourself. I don’t know why she’s trying to include EVERY SERVICE MEMBER who doesn’t hang out with Assad or side with Trump concerning Russia, so I am going to guess she did it because she’s hot fucking garbage. Also?
How the fuck is that an answer?
Nobody asked your ass all that, Gabbard. He asked your trash ass if you were a goddamn sleeper cell. Apparently, Gabbard went to the Liz Warren school of answering “Yes or No” questions, which means she talks about tangentially related concepts and ideals, yet never answers the question.
I was so certain that nobody would fall for this basic ass bullshit that I wrote this tweet:
Um, why doesn’t it have 20 million likes? Because Americans are fucking ridiculous. Why do I say this? Because.
Yes. Not only did people start stabbing Hillary in the back, but I retweeted my own tweet out of pure exasperation with the Hillary Haters. And this was in the midst of some dangerously idiotic virtue signalling from Trump and some of the Dem candidates, and of course, the ever present wailing and gnashing of teeth that ensues when Jill Stein talks.
Here is what Trump had to say:
“So now Crooked Hillary is at it again! She is calling Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard ‘a Russian favorite,’ and Jill Stein ‘a Russian asset.’
“As you may have heard, I was called a big Russia lover also (actually, I do like Russian people. I like all people!). Hillary’s gone Crazy!”
Jill Stein’s grifty ass just had to get her digs in too:
“I am not a Russian spy,” Stein said Saturday on CNN’s Smerconish. “I think this is a completely unhinged conspiracy theory for which there is absolutely no basis in fact. Not for myself and not for Tulsi Gabbard. I think it’s really outrageous that Hillary Clinton is trying to promote this crazy idea.”
Oh look! Jill Stein 2016 is defending Jill Stein 2020!! Big Surprise. And she is totally making shit up.
Nobody called your foolish ass a fucking SPY, Lady! She said ASSET, as in USEFUL IDIOT, she was just trying to be fucking professional. Just shut up.
Nina Turner woke up to the drama, apparently, and didn’t really seem to know WTF was going on, but she said some stuff that I suppose kinda fit.
Yes, I have her blocked. No, she never bothered me, I just block her and Susan Sarandon in case I talk about them and they vanity search. Susan does that. She has done it to me, so, I refuse to say allegedly.
Next Tulsi, like the Garbage Pail Kid we always knew she was, ran her ass to Fox News, her natural home, to cry and cry and cry for attention. When that only got her sympathy from Van Jones, Andrew Yang, Marianne Williamson, and Beto, she decided to film her Cri de Coeur, probably to try to boost her poll numbers.
Hillary & her gang of rich, powerful elite are going after me to send a msg to YOU: “Shut up, toe the line, or be destroyed.” But we, the people, will NOT be silenced. Join me in taking our Democratic Party back & leading a govt of, by & for the people! https://t.co/TOcAOPrxye pic.twitter.com/TahfE2XOek
— Tulsi Gabbard (@TulsiGabbard) October 20, 2019
None of that shit she said was relevant, much was inaccurate, and some of it was just bizarre as fuck. I’m sorry, but she sounds paranoid as hell, I have not seen Hillary running around talking about Tulsi. One last thing, why the fuck does she always make everything about her military service when it was in no way related to her military service? Good god.
I would have written this up before, but I have been sick. Bronchitis always knocks me down, so I have about ten half written or nearly all written blog posts that just sucked ass because I’m in a mental fog.
Or, I WAS in a mental fog, until I got an alert to my email while I was laying in bed DRAGGING Tulsi on Twitter, like I had been doing for the previous 24 or so hours. The message said I needed to check out some “security issue” on my blog domain, and since I have no fucking clue how to do so, I hurried to log in and try. The log showed that someone had spent the past 2 nights trying their damnedest to guess my password. I dont even know my password, how the fuck were they gonna guess it?
Who could it be that was sooooo eager to hack into my basic ass blog? I’m not famous, nor do I want to be, so why would there be 40 attempts to get in and fuck my shit up? Who was it?
Fucking Russia. Ukraine (Russia). Belarus (Russia).
Don’t worry, I added additional security. Isn’t it strange that while Tulsi is telling the world “Not A Puppet! You’re The Puppet!” and I was dragging her natural ass for it, Russia decided to attack my lil punk ass blog? Sure, I have a big fucking mouth, this is known. But attacking me is just going to piss me off, bitches. I can ALWAYS buy a new domain, write more posts, and annoy the shit out of every Putin Puppet on the planet. So, for all of you assholes saying Russia isn’t on Tulsa’s side, we have no proof, and stop smearing her?
No. She’s a fucking risk I am not willing to take, presenting evidence isn’t smearing, and Tulsi Gabbard is weird as shit.