Kamala Harris locked up Child Molesters, and I am fucking proud of her

This entire piece is a trigger. Trigger warning in effect as of now.

I deleted most of what I had written earlier. The tone was a bit too lighthearted and snarky, and snark, while a powerful tool, can seem crass and gauche when it doesn’t do the subject matter any justice. I had comedic diatribes and slightly clever barbs aimed at those I felt weren’t giving Kamala a fair chance, giving Kamala a break, or were holding Kamala to unfair standards.

But this isn’t about Kamala, is it? It’s about us.

It seems lately that everybody has it in for Kamala Harris, and we who support her, by the very nature of that support, suffer with her, step for step. It’s hard to believe in much right now with the state of national politics being what it is, and with the unworthy attacks constantly being made upon our candidate, our politics, and even ourselves. Fairness, integrity, and even hope, at times, seem beyond belief. I don’t believe much, I’m a skeptic. What I do believe about Kamala, beyond all of the cases she has been attacked for, past all of the rachet headlines forecasting the demise of her campaign; I do believe one thing.

I believe she is here for us, for the People.

So before that gentle and good night falls upon us, before the platinum daggers of belated billionaires cut the heart out of her campaign, and also from our own meager chests, I have a need to write. I feel that it is imperative that I at least show you a bit of her side of the story. Know that I haven’t spoken with her, I am not with her campaign, related to her, or even a friend. What I am, like many of us who chose a “cop” from Oakland to represent us–what I am is a Survivor.

I have been that child. WE have been that child. We saw her record. We see what she did. Yet, rather than letting our hindsight eyes to get stuck on a few mistakes, we chose to glide our eyes beyond what everyone says she did wrong; we searched instead for what she did RIGHT.

Kamala Harris locked up Child Molesters, and I am fucking proud of her.

From 1989 to 1998 Kamala Harris spent her time working her way up from the basement working DUI cases, to being the well known prosecutor who was a child sex predator’s worst nightmare. Wrapped up in a professionally polished package, Kamala has the heart of a lioness and a soul that burns for justice, especially when it comes to our pride and joy, our future leaders and innovators, the most vulnerable, our precious children.

There was a time when everyone knew that about Kamala Harris; she was known far and wide for her ferocity when it came to those who hurt children.

LA Times said this in 2004:

In August, her office made local history by winning a conviction against a 21-year-old man who was sentenced to three years in state prison for pimping a 14-year-old girl. For the first time in San Francisco, a press release crowed, the pimp was charged with statutory rape and child molestation. “Today we have removed a predator from our streets,” Harris declared

Amen.

Kamala Harris was known by all, not only for teaching advocacy skills at Stanford and University of San Francisco, or even for days when she dated the talk show host, Montel Williams. It wasn’t even her time spent “dancing with super six; Midnight Magic.”–her dance troupe from high school that got the public’s attention.

It was her fight against sexual predators that made her name.

Nowadays, word on the street is nobody even knows Kamala Harris. Where a few months ago we had people claiming to know her completely, even her intentions and motivations, which, of course, were bad bad bad, now suddenly, no one knows a thing about her… What they do know is that she spent her WHOLE CAREER locking up Black men for mysterious minor crimes. They know she was a “cop.” Well, what they know is absolute bullshit. Kamala Harris spent 9 years working as a Prosecutor in the Sex Crimes Unit in the Alameda County DA’s office. Her specialty? Sex crimes involving children.

LA Times:

“It’s a sea change in terms of how this issue has been dealt with through the ages,” said San Francisco Dist. Atty. Kamala Harris, who pushed aggressively for the bill, as well as for the city’s first safe house for underage prostitutes, scheduled to open next year.

“It’s finally in black and white, legislated, that adults cannot buy children for sex.”

Some will say it is not a big deal to win a fight to have this most basic value enshrined in law. Undoubtedly they will tell you that her mistakes cannot be measured against the good she has done. Maybe they’ll even say that the good cannot even be discussed. That it is a distraction, a red herring, or even a cop out. They’ll be entirely wrong.

“It’s finally in black and white, legislated, that adults cannot buy children for sex.”

I cried the first time I read that line.

 

Harris had seen the effects up close as a deputy district attorney prosecuting sex abuse cases in Alameda County. Once, she set out to search for a young girl who had been sexually assaulted, and found her for sale on San Francisco’s streets. On one side of the bay, the girl was a victim, abused at home, who could not legally consent to sexual activity. On the other, she was entering the justice system as a perpetrator.

What else can a woman do when a teenage girl, abused at home, violated in the most tangible of ways runs away? She’d look for her, right? Like many who deal with “at risk” youth, Kamala Harris has spent her share of time tracking down a lost soul.

I can imagine her nights spent looking for missing girls as clearly as I see in my memory the mothers who would come to Sunset Blvd looking for “Becca” or “Stephanie” or ” Heather” among the painted faces, bewigged heads, and plastic accoutrements we wore in those dim, mirrored salons of the various “Gentlemen’s Clubs” that nestled nervously among the edifices along the Boulevard.

Just as they were told to check with the “strong women” strutting down Sunset in the moonlight on their way to Denny’s, so too was she likely bid to check with the “working girls” and if not them, try the pimps. It’s a cold world out there y’all. Knowing Kamala, she, like me, likely knew one or two pimps from run ins on previous occasions. Hopefully she, unlike me, didn’t know them from that time she ended up slapboxing with a pimp in the middle of the street on Wilshire over a girl he tried to “recruit.” Chicago, ha! Haven’t thought about him in years.

 

From “The Truths We Hold”:

I’d be given a briefcase on a Friday afternoon containing a pager (high-tech for the early nineties), a pen … Eventually, I moved into a unit that focused on prosecuting sex crimes—putting rapists and child molesters behind bars.

It was difficult, distressing, and deeply important work.

Oh, Kamala doesn’t talk much about her courtroom battles. I doubt you would either if you were dealing with 5 or 6 year old children who had been raped by their own brother, or 14 year olds who were gangraped by degenerates that pretended to befriend a vulnerable young girl. Perhaps her reticence has less to do with being guilty of some nefarious deeds or purposeful rather than non-prescient errors in a handful of cases due to a lack of foresight and possibly misinformed beliefs.

Maybe she doesn’t talk about it much because that shit is hard as fuck for YOU to hear. She was there. The pain you feel the first time you hear of a child being destroyed by predators is so palpable you can feel yourself folding into yourself. Or, perhaps that’s just me. Perhaps she wants to spare you that.

Also from The Truths We Hold:

The Truths We Hold

Imagine that, Harris is a human, after all. And so too are we, the “victims” as human as the men “Kamala the Cop” locked away. She is on our side, the side of the vulnerable children, she, as always, sides with The People. I have no ability to count up or even find out about all of the cases that Kamala worked to be able to tell you how many of these perverts she locked away. I am sure that’s not a count she keeps either. The count that eternally gnaws at her soul is likely the number of predators she COULDN’T lock away, those who got away with it, and who still had access to their victims.

Nevertheless, she did not only work sex crimes against children. She worked homicides, rape of women and men, drug cases at times, and even violent crimes, like “scalping.”

A Fremont man who scalped his girlfriend down to the skull with a Ginsu-style steak knife was sentenced yesterday in Alameda County Superior Court to life in prison plus five years.

The bloody attack, which came after numerous threats and a previous attempt foiled by a dull knife, was the first scalping case in the court’s history.

Frankie Vanloock, 33, was convicted August 30 of aggravated mayhem and torture for scalping Monica Meyer-Harnisch, 35, and of misdemeanor assault for the earlier attack.

Speechless.

Judge Alfred Delucchi added five years to the life sentence because Vanloock used a deadly weapon and caused great bodily injury. The defendant will be eligible for parole in 12 years.

Here is what Kamala said:

“It’s appropriate for what he did,” prosecutor Kamala Harris said after the sentencing. “The manner in which this crime was committed was incredibly sadistic.”

Ya think?

Defense lawyer Walter Cannady filed an appeal after the sentence was handed down. He admitted Vanloock “screwed up,” but said the crime was drug- and alcohol-induced.

They were both druggies and alcoholics,” he said. “I believe he committed a battery, but I don’t believe he had the specific intent to maim or torture.

Excuse me, what the fuck do you think scalping is, muthafucker? (Torture and maiming) Just normal shit druggies and alcoholics do? What the bleeding fuck is wrong with you? Fuck you and fuck no, you fcuking idiot. He is using the word “they” like she has to share some of the blame for the maiming because she got high with her boyfriend. That is fucked up.

The sliced section of scalp could not be reattached. Meyer- Harnisch has since undergone surgery three times and is in therapy because of psychological trauma.

So, this is just a small taste of the sadistic and violent acts Kamala bore witness to through the eyes of the victims in her fights to bring justice to the people. The People aren’t  just The State, The Wealthy, or the Powerful–The People are also the 6 year old Molestation Victim, The Domestic Abuse Survivor, The Devastated Family, and as quiet as it’s kept?

The People are YOU.

 

There are a lot of Very Important White People (Checkmark Twitter) who have been doing the “Kamala is a cop” idiocy for the past week, mainly due to the timing of Kamala releasing her Mental Health Plan outline coinciding with Elizabeth Warren’s unfortunate decline in the polls. Sure, it may not seem normal that people would lash out at Harris and read things into her plans they do not say, just because of Liz’s misfortunes. Nevertheless I watched it happen myself, and have experienced their wrath firsthand. I sashay away…

Kamala doesn’t tell much of her own story, though much of what I have written here was gleaned from her last book, of which I have a copy on my desk. The rest had to be snatched bit by bit from the mouths of others, but it is real, and it is true, and it tells you who she is.

So, for those who forgot, this is your reminder.

Kamala locked up child molesters, and I thank her for that.

 

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SF Gate

The Truths We Hold

Smart on Crime

Everyone That Stood Up To Hillary For Tulsi Needs To Have About A Million Seats

File:Hillary Clinton official Secretary of State portrait crop.jpg

Time for everyone to have infinity seats.

For days I have watched people become increasingly more hysterical over La Hillary saying some perfectly reasonable things, which apparently is illegal. For one, she basically called Jill Stein what she is–“a Russian asset” lol, or in layman’s terms, “A Useful Idiot.” Next, she went in on Tulsi Gabbard for there being suspect websites in favor of her and high level of troll activity supporting her. This is something I don’t even need to fact check. I know it’s true. I get trolled by these unamerican accounts all the time; they all either have accts that were dormant for years that suddenly woke up this spring or summer, or they are brand new accounts that appear to have been created specifically to troll Democrats, especially me, and my followers in the K-Hive. This could because they love trolling all of the people who were on the “Tulsi Gabbard Twitter Enemy List” last spring, and I was lucky enough to reach number 22. Only number 22? How lame. I deserve better treatment.

Yeah, I was robbed, that much is clear, and it was unfair. I submit that I should have been much higher on the list (a lower number) since I despise Tulsi far more than many of the people who suspiciously ranked better than me. I mean, whoever made the list said I was BAD BAD BAD. That’s 3 bads. Nobody else got 3 fucking bads. I should have been in the top ten. The makers of that ranking chart need to have a fucking seat.

As you know, I often call on people who are “doing the most” to have between a million and a billion seats, for many very good reasons. One helpful reason is they need to sit their asses the entire fuck down and shut that shit the complete fuck up. Like, they need to do it right fucking now. This includes “Democratic” candidates for the Presidency, like the always annoying and never quiet Bernie Sanders, and even my boy Beto (how could you? I forgive you because you’re not Bernie, but stop it). Sigh. Strange bedfellows.

That’s not all that’s strange about this “Hillary Called Me A Russian Asset On A Podcast” story that Tulsi Gabbard and the entire media have been weaving. The strangest part is that Hillary never actually said Tulsi was a Russian asset at all. Recall, I wrote a thing about that very thing last week and in that piece I made sure to highlight the fact that I actually LISTENED to the actual fucking podcast so that I actually heard what Hillary was actually saying instead of trusting anyfuckingbody in the media to transcribe anything Hillary says for me. There is this weird thing in the media where they focused an extraordinarily extreme amount of time on Hillary’s boring ass emails while pretty much giving Donald Trump a pass, normalizing him even, and it made me not trust a fucking thing they said in regard to Hillary.

Since Bernie obviously only reads above the fold, never listened to the podcast, and is likely bitter about losing to Hillary, he forcefully defended Tulsi from shit Hillary didn’t say. Let me remind you that Bernie called Hillary unqualified based on a headline saying she called him unqualified, but she had never said THAT at all.

I suppose it might be outrageous if anybody had actually said it, Gramps. You look like an asshole who is still bitter about being beat by a woman.

Other people who can have seats: Marianne “Queen of the Moon People” Williamson, Andrew “Don’t Circumcise Your Baby’s Wang” Yang, Jill “Remember When I Punked Y’all Out of Recount Money” Stein, Van “I Block Black People Because They Read My Ass” Jones, and even Cory “I Think About My Girlfriend All Day” Booker and Pete “I’m Friends With Zuckerberg Who Sold The Last Election To Trump” Buttigieg jumped all the hell over Hillary to defend Tulsi and they can each have about a Trillion seats. 

Raw Story:

President Donald Trump has attacked former Sec. Hillary Clinton over the weekend for trying to blame Russia for everything. In fact, The New York Times story that quoted an interview with Clinton mistakenly alleged the quote. It was incorrect and The Times has fixed their error.

Clinton never said Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI) was being “groomed” by the “Russians,” according to an update from The Times.

Oops!!! I suppose everyone who attacked Hillary for saying Tulsi was a Russian asset will hurry up and apologize for their grievous error that has the potential to destroy Hillary’s reputation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!! Yeah right. Rarely does anyone apologize to Hillary or even admit to making a mistake in whatever bullshit they spread about her.

Republicans were ‘grooming’ her as a third-party candidate,” The Times said in a corrected report (emphasis from RawStory).

Oh, what’s this? REPUBLICANS were grooming Tulsi? Why don’t we have a million articles and candidates who I’ll never vote for coming out and defending Tulsi on THAT? Is it because it’s kinda obvious since Trump wanted to give her a job, she’s a DINO, she goes on Fox to rail against Democrats, and has a 1990s view on abortion.

 

I haven’t even gotten to the strangest part of Tulsi’s gyrations over Hillary not saying she was being groomed by the Russians: Tulsi seems to think she can compete with Hillary for some reason.

“It’s now clear that this primary is between you and me,” Gabbard tweeted about Clinton. “Don’t cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Tulsi. What the fuck kind of weed are they growing in Hawaii? I know they usually have the fire, but damn boo, it makes YOU say dumb ass shit.

From Washington Post:

Defenders of Gabbard, including those on the right and the populist left who regularly oppose the Democratic establishment, may attempt to color Clinton’s critiques of the lawmaker as bitterness coupled with the former secretary of state’s desire to bolster a more centrist candidate’s campaign. But experts in the field of Russian interference view manipulations of Gabbard’s campaign as potentially harmful to the 2020 election in ways that are similar to the previous election. And for those who are concerned about the integrity of the U.S. election process, that is a much bigger issue than Gabbard’s personal feelings.

Hi. This is not about your stupid ass personal feelings about Hillary anymore, this is about our Democracy, something Many of these very important people who defended Gabbard all profess to care about deeply. The media seems to be stuck on trying to prove they were right to treat Hillary like shit while giving Donald Trump a free pass on all of his faults. I’m tired of this shit, so the media can have 100 trillion fucking seats.

RawStory

Washington Post

Marketwatch

Liz Warren Lied To A Black Woman’s Face After Giving Speech About Black Women

(This post has been edited to reflect that Ms. Field is NOT the daughter of Ms. Carpenter.)

Look at how stuck Liz looks….

Okay. So, do you remember the other day when Liz Warren was giving a speech on Black Women and was protested by a group of black and brown parents? If you spend a GODAWFUL amount of time on political social media, you would have noticed quite a few Blue Checks losing their shit over some “Walton family funded (hold on, let me look) narratives” and “smear tactics” done to Queen Elizabeth Warren that day.

Why all this drama? Because Liz lied to the protester who organized the protest about “both” of her children going to public school, and her supporters couldn’t take it. Liz has 2 children; her daughter went to public school, and her son spent some years in private school. The woman heading up the protest knew that. Liz knew that. But in the moment when asked about that, Liz said both of her kids went to public school. Her campaign later came out and admitted her son went to private school.

I’m about to tell you the entire weird ass convoluted stupid ass story, but just know that the main point is Liz got protested, and lied to the woman’s face. I will try not to make it a 3,000 word jeremiad on Lizeralism, or go on too many tangents. Continue reading “Liz Warren Lied To A Black Woman’s Face After Giving Speech About Black Women”

Time To Stop Pretending Pete Can Win Over Black Voters

Hiya, Petey! I didn’t really want to be the one to break it to you (Yes I did.), but since the White Penis Patrol in the media won’t shut the fuck up about you, it has to be done. I won’t name names, but, these fools are doing everything from pairing you up with Tulsi Gabbard as your VP to convincing old white folks that Black voters will move your way after you White Privilege your way to victory in Iowa. We know the drill.

So, lately, you have making the rounds and telling us you believe you have time to win over Black Voters. The time for that would have been when you first took office as Mayor, Dear. When you fired/demoted Chief Boykins and didn’t even take time to craft a believable excuse, you pretty much lost THIS primary. What? Did you think we wouldn’t take the word of some random black person whose name we don’t know over your word? You played yourself. We’d take the word of a Black Person in Illinois who has a cousin that lives in a town in your state over yours. The only Black Person we might not have listened to completely would be someone in the style of O.J. Simpson. And even if it were your word or Simpson, I’d be inclined to give him the benefit of doubt, and just call it inconclusive. Why?

You’re Mayonnaise, Pete. Bland, Boring, Oily, and BANNED from my table. You gets no seat, bruhman.

From NYT::

Adrianne Shropshire, the executive director of BlackPAC, a super PAC, said her organization had conducted focus groups of a few dozen black voters in six cities since August. In straw polls of the focus group participants, Mr. Buttigieg has not received a single vote.

Granted, the sample size is very small, I could pull more Blacks through a Twitter poll, but the point remains; Pete ain’t it. I can say, quite frankly, as someone who gave him a chance, that now I even hate his face. If Pete were the nominee, I’d do exactly what I would do if Tulsi we’re nominee. Nothing. Oh, and prepare for the second Trump term, because there is no way in hell Petey Pie can possibly motivate the 62% or so Black voter turnout we will need to defeat the Orange Butt-Plug. I just fell asleep for a second writing that because that is the effect Pete has on me.

Now I know we have a bunch of vote blue no matter who people that believe they run Twitter, and also think they can hashtag their way to victory no matter who the candidate is. They are stupid.

NYT:

Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has 154 endorsements from current or former black or Hispanic elected officials. Senator Kamala Harris has 93. Senator Bernie Sanders has 91. Senator Cory Booker has 50. Senator Elizabeth Warren has 43.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg has six.

Six? You’re raking in the dough from white folks, you’re out here faking support from black folks, You’re getting DRAGGED by Nina Turner, schooled by Kamala Harris, you take suspect ass photos, and all you had time to rustle up are 6 endorsements?  Bro, I could jump in the race and convince more than 6 people that I won’t let my laziness get in the way of my Presidenting.

This shit is suspect as fuck.

More from NYT:

Mr. Buttigieg’s supporters say most black voters and politicians haven’t gotten to know him and predicted that, once they do, his fortunes will improve.

HAHAHAAAHAAHAAA!! HAA! HAHAHAHA!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Not gonna happen. We already know you. Quite frankly, we have known many of you throughout our time in America, so the last thing we’d ever do is further empower you.

Here is one reason we don’t like you, a video from this Summer.

“Did you just ask me if Black Lives Matter?”

Wow. Wow. Wow. Look how fucking terrible you are. Were you laughing?

Pete: “I’m not asking for your vote.”

Intelligent Black Woman: “You ain’t getting it neither.”

And you ain’t getting mine neither. At the fuck all.

For now, Mr. Buttigieg has so few black elected officials and former elected officials backing him that they could all fit into a single S.U.V.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Go sit your ass the fuck down, Pete!! I legit can’t stand you MORE now.

I’ll just post this again…

Fuck. Pete isn’t the only Buttigieg that black people avoid like he’s the repo-man.

First of all, how the hell do you go to Louisiana and manage to find ZERO black people willing to be in a photo with you? Also, OMG, he said the thing about tearing down the homes of us darkened people. Ooooooo!

See, that’s the thing, tho, ain’t it? I talk about how he tore down Black people’s homes, but I am so self centered, I neglect to mention he tears down AAALLLLL BIPoC homes, and Poor White’s homes too. So, really, Pete had a war on the POOR, black people were disproportionately affected, but, really, the historically BLACK area is the currently non-white + broke ass white folks who you forget are white all the time because white people don’t even treat them like white people area. I’m sure they have a nice mixture of folks’ homes for Peter to tear down and charge them for demolitioning.

An aside: When I was coming up and in my early 20, I lived around Mexicans, Central Americans, Belizeans (Yes, you have to discuss them separately.), Panamanians (see:Belizeans), Jamaicans, Hmong, Cambodians, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Samoans, Tongans, Hawaiians, Armenians (They seem not to believe they are white people, so you have to talk about them separately. I know.), Italians (same shit), Persians (same shit), Lebanese (Separately), Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Haitians, Nigerians, Ethiopians, Somalians, Pakistani, Indians, Native Americans, Europeans, Jewish People, and White People. I hope I didn’t leave anyone out, oh, one girl was from Kazakhstan. She was cool as hell. So, unlike Peter, I made all of my stupidest mistakes on race when I was younger than 35, and yes, I took it all the way up to the line, y’all. I learned how to do better. Now, shit, I just agree that I don’t know shit the fuck all, apologize, move on, and pay attention to what people say about their experience.

Now, out of all of those groups that I have experience with, guess how many I would create large scale plans for that solve all of their 400 year struggles? That’s right. Zero. And not just because I’m notoriously lazy. It’s also because, while I don’t have particularly bad relations with any of them, I don’t know their daily lives. While people are out here doing that thing with Pete that they did when Paul Ryan READ a proposed House Bill and called him a policy wonk… Nobody is really looking at the utter gall it takes for a man to do so poorly with the black people in his own community, then turn around and suddenly have a White Savior Plan named after a dead Black Man to solve ALL of their problems.

Does anyone really believe black people will suddenly believe in Pete?

On that note…

Huffington Post:

CNN political analyst Nia-Malika Henderson later suggested there was “something sort of more subtle that maybe Black people can pick up on that other people can’t.”

Former Vice President Joe “Biden seems like he’s comfortable around Black people, right?” Henderson asked. “And Pete Buttigieg doesn’t seem like he’s spent much time around Black people. And I don’t know how you get over that. I don’t know why he hasn’t really spent much time around Black people.”

Did you catch that?

“I don’t know why he hasn’t really spent much time around Black people.”

Why, Pete? Scared? You were a soldier, Pete!

 

“When Black Voters hear the agenda that I have for black America, and what motivates me to deal with these issues, the response is supportive, it is powerful, and I believe that is going to carry us to success in South Carolina and across the country.”

It grosses me out that you pretend to not know how badly you fucked up on race. And it takes utter gall to suddenly have plans for Black People, especially since you never had a plan for Black South Bend.

 

It’s obvious Pete makes the other candidates a bit nervous. I mean, dude is at ZERO PERCENT with black voters, the most loyal Dem constituency. He got name checked the most out of all the candidates, twice more than Kamala Harris, who was having a great night and always seems to get name checked even if it’s about shit she ain’t even do. Pete’s name checks had a different character to them; patronized a bit by Amy Klobuchar, collected by Harris on his lack of connection with Black Voters, attacked by Tulsi as naive, he was being told he ain’t it all night.

And really, let’s keep it real, the only time he really seemed to be fighting in his own weight class is when he was giving Tulsi Gabbard the old “ground n pound” after she tried to sucker punch him on the Mexico issue. Other than that, Pete ain’t it. He will never EVER EVER be it. Ever. Time to go home.

NYT

Huffington Post

NBC

Guardian

Axios

 

Three Winners, Three Losers, and 4 Who Were Just There

Who won last night’s debate? Well, let me get out ahead of some of the white male punditry and give you my final analysis RIGHT NOW. I spent the evening watching the debate a total of three times. That should tell you not to believe a goddamn thing that asshole Andrew O’Hehir says over at Salon. While the rest of the political world seems to think Harris had a solid to outstanding night, Andy-pants seems to think it was a perfect opportunity to spread his privileged white dick opinion, and opine about her lack of authenticity

But the problem is precisely that performance is the only basis on which to judge Harris, because her actual personality and principles are impossible to discern.

Wow. You’re a fucking asshole, dude. Meh, it’s from Salon, and I won’t link to it because I’d like to spare you from having to view a white dude damn near lose his shit because a black woman did well in a debate. I think he’s triggered.

On to more important matters! Completely moderated by women, this debate was actually the best so far; it ran so smooth that I have realized we need one change to make ALL debates awesome.

Fire the men.

Winners

Number One–Kamala Harris–Top Winner

Kamala Harris definitely had a good night, and not just because Tulsi had a bad one. To that point, Harris’ jab about Tulsi being a Fox News favorite seemed to deflate Rep. Aloha instantly, leaving her open to get smacked around by Mayor Pete later on. Harris also made issue with Pete’s fraught relationship with black voters, getting Pete to agree to her criticisms. Let’s take a look at what Harold Meyerson at TAP had to say.

Of the two children of leftwing professors on the stage, Buttigieg had a bad night and Kamala Harris had a very good one, indeed—returning to the form she showed in the first debate. I don’t think she was the best presidential material on that platform, but she might well be the best candidate to take on Donald Trump on a debate stage

I saw that too. Out of all the candidates, Kamala seemed the most ready to take on Trump, and if she had the backing of Democrats at large, Trump may resign rather than face her.

But Harris has a touch of earthiness that no other Democratic candidate can equal, as in her answer on Donald Trump’s wooing of Kim Jung Il: With all due respect to the gravity of presidential debates, she began, “Donald Trump got punked.” 

Damn straight. You cannot defeat Donald by pumping up your tiny baby struggle-fist and nattering on about snatching pennies out of billionaires’ ashtrays/coin dishes to pay for The American Dream. Trump will simply bring up his “Beautiful Spectacular Plan To Make Everything Golden Awesome” that will be “so cheap, you won’t even believe it when I tell you! Believe me.” 

The balance between her qualifying opening clause and her blunt declarative assertion was a thing of beauty. If manner were all, Harris would be a great president.

Amen. Her performance was a thing of beauty.

 

Number Two–Cory Booker–Big Winner

Cory Booker had his own little bit of awesome when he broke free from whatever had a stranglehold on his snarker, and has caused him to be all types of weird all year long. I have long attributed Cory’s weirdness to that thing where you fall in love and want other people to love people and be a good person like you are. I have tried to be patient with his kind, Christian, caring, compassionate…Okay, it’s starting to look like maybe I’m a misanthropic beyotch, and need to let a little love into my tiny, shrivelled heart.

But gah, can I just say something?

Cory. For the love of gOD. Please marry your girlfriend so she’ll be your wife. Then y’all can learn to hate each other a little bit so your miasma of lovey-doveyness doesn’t get on me. It might burn or tingle or make me be nice to folks I’m seriously grudging on.

I’m done. I swear.

Cory, for his part, had come prepared to make fun of Biden for acting old on the subject of weed. Now we all know Cory is high on life, but Cory was damn near sure JOE had been puffing on the Jazz cigarettes when he came out against legalization of cannabis.

Number Three–Amy Klobuchar—Winner

Amy managed to knock out a win by being consistent and having one thing Pete, Warren, and even Bernie seem to lack when it comes to getting things done: Receipts. Amy let us know she raised $17,000 for her first run from ex-boyfriends. Yo, to me, this is an amazing feat, something only the craftiest mastermind, or a very blunt and honest person, would be able to accomplish. Oh, also, all of my exes are brokeasses, so, don’t mind me. Maybe y’all listened to your moms and only dated men with a job every time.

Well, ain’t we fancy.

Number Four–Pete Buttigieg—He Knows a Lot of Words

Okay, I was gonna write this long thing on Pete and how I can’t tell him apart from Vermin Supreme or Miss Teen South Carolina in transcript form, but that’s a mean thing to say, so I’ll not comment on that word potato salad with raisins. I will just post what I tweeted.

What the fuck is Pete talking about? That shit didn’t make sense. It was nonsense he ate and shat out an served up to us like it was supposed to be inspiring and hopeful. I sometimes think that maybe Pete has never had any reason to lose hope, therefore he has no idea how one would inspire it. McKinsey speak is the WORST. I liked him better when he was the Assistant Manager of Kinney’s Shoes at the mall.

Fuck you, I said it.

 

Number Five–Biden—He Didn’t LOSE

The Biden Stutter Strikes Again!!

Please skip this section if you are about to be pissed the fuck off at Biden getting another free ass pass.

Do not read this.

It’s another free ass pass.

Biden. Did you review the video? Cool.

You see where you actually did say what Harris said you said? Cool.

Just so you know, Dear Heart, we call what you did erasure in most cases where a Former VP like you says you have the endorsement of the only Black woman Senator, but you have a Black woman Senator onstage with you? Yeah, honey. I know you thought you said first, you meant to say first, and I even saw you try to say first. But your mouth would not let you. It said ONLY. Happens to me sometimes.

See, I eased up on you a while back, because while most of my speech impediments are long gone, or, at least rare, I can always sense when something is up. I was a quiet child. I can tell you were not. I learned to plan out my words in advance. My thing isn’t a full on THING like yours. My mouth will rarely refuse to say what I told it to, and let gibberish fly out. A light stutter, every now and then. Nobody can even tell.

I can tell with you. You stutter. I hear you revving up, getting faster and faster, words flying like grease lightning, and boom. Your mouth just says whatever the fuck it wants to say.

Please slow down.

The Atlantic:

“The paragraph I had to read was: ‘Sir Walter Raleigh was a gentleman. He laid his cloak upon the muddy road suh-suh-so the lady wouldn’t soil her shoes when she entered the carriage,’ ” Biden tells me, slightly and unintentionally tripping up on the word so. “And I said, ‘Sir Walter Raleigh was a gentle man who—’ and then the nun said, ‘Mr. Biden, what is that word?’ And it was gentleman that she wanted me to say, not gentle man. And she said, ‘Mr. Buh-Buh-Buh-Biden, what’s that word?’ ”

That’s some cold ass shit.

Bill Bowden had the locker next to Biden’s at Archmere. I called Bowden recently. “It was just kind of a funny thing, you know?” he told me. “Hopefully he wasn’t hurt by it.” Bob Markel, another high-school buddy of Biden’s, went a little further when we spoke: “ ‘H-H-H-H-Hey, J-J-J-J-J-Joe B-B-B-B-Biden’—that’s how he’d be addressed.” Markel said the Archmere guys called him “Stutterhead,” or “Hey, Stut !” for short. He fears that he himself may have made fun of Biden once or twice. “I never remember him being offended. He probably was,” Markel said. “I think one of his coping mechanisms was to not show it.” Bowden and Markel have remained friends with Biden to this day.

Maybe I just don’t wanna be an asshole like everybody else, or I am growing soft, or my stutter was such a fleeting thing–a few years– and not very bad at all. My cousin was the ultimate stutter champion until he was a teen and started rapping. “B-b-b-b-b-bi-buh-buh…. Watermelon head, get yo ass back to the Ninja line!”

Yes, He called me Watermelonhead,

How was that easier to say than Bianca? Bs are hard, I guess.

Also, yes. We had a Ninja Line I was supposed to be standing at.

Yes, I ran away from my lawful ninja duties to play in the dirt and collect bugs.

I was so goddamn weird. I’m sure Biden was too.

Number Six–Yang—He Was There

Um, okay. Yang has a Gang now the Yang Gang’s a Thang. I don’t know y’all. Quite a few of Yang’s points were things I could jive with, yet somehow, he didn’t seem to be running for president. He was playing Laurence Fishburne’s role in School Daze, albeit one who is trying to awaken and unite us in awareness about the Technological Revolution rather than South African Apartheid.

He had a few good moments, jokes like the one where he would tell Putin, “Sorry I beat your guy.” but all in all, he did nothing to stand out. One thing that sticks with me is how much we see eye to eye on Donald Trump being a mere symptom of a larger systemic disease.

Number Seven–Bernie—He Was The Same Bernie

There is really not much to say about Bernie’s performance, he was adequate, less loud than in the past, yet still yelly as hell. He has found a way to get on my nerves far less, while still being the same rigid, uncompromising prick he’s always been. But see, that’s the thing isn’t it. The Devil you know is never as bad as the New Devil that’s looming on the horizon. Yes, I am talking about Pete and Liz. No, I do not know them.

Kamala made a great point about, “Where you been, and what are you going to do?” Well, I know where Bernieass has been for fumpteen hundred years. In Government. He is a long term politician who hates politicians so he has decided to become the ULTIMATE politician, probably just to release the citizenry from the thrall of the Corporate Kings and destroy the Iron Throne. Or whatever Presidents sit upon. Bernie didn’t win or lose. He showed up, and bided his time so he could yell, “I WROTE THE DAMN BILL!” at least one more time.

So worth it.

Number Eight–Warren—Loser

Whatever magic Warren seemed to have gotten into over the Summer as she rode the waves of increasing support has completely washed away. Wan, and bland, she struggled from the beginning when she sparred with Booker over one of her many unpassable plans. I said this Summer that she should pick a few things she’s really good at and stick to them. No one can be all things to all people, and while I did hear her say she had a plan for something once during the debate, it seems like her confidence is not nearly as high.

To be sure, when you receive a lot of positive attention, and also free passes, for months on end, normal criticism can throw you for a loop. Many of us had been saying similar things about her plan to ban industries (insurance) and impose Senate rules changes being bonkers, but nobody in her camp could see past her poll numbers. I cannot recall any memorable exchanges from her, so, I’ll leave it there.

Number Nine–Steyer—Big Loser

Steyer. Okay, dude. While you seem like a very nice guy, guess what? NO MORE BILLIONAIRES. If Bernie Sanders taught me anything it’s that billionaires are even bigger assholes than Bernie Sanders.

Your campaign already stole data, maybe tried to pay for endorsements, you have money, money is power, so why the hell should we give you more power?

NO. I SAID NO. GO AWAY AND DO MORE ACTIVISM

Number Ten–Tulsi—Lost and Got Dragged

Will somebody tell me how this wretch keeps making these GODDAMN DEBATES? It’s like Spicey on Dancing With the Stars at this point, where you can’t imagine who keeps voting to keep her, but there she is, dancing around in Macho Man Randy Savage’s outfits from 1989 every week. Or, Spicey was, not Tulsi, and I was APPALLED.

Tulsi, for her part, had not come for Kamala Harris last night. Shitty luck for her, because Kamala came for her ass anyway. After Harris dragged her from Georgia to Fairbanks and back again, Tulsi managed to look like a liar while trying to call Harris a liar, and ended up moping at her podium.

Later she recalled that she did, in fact, have a hit job to do and went to rush Pete and deliver him a set down over “wanting to take US Soldiers to go fight in Mexico.” Aww, Tulsi!  A BETTER staff or some reading glasses would have cleared it all up, and saved you the trouble of getting dragged by PETE from Georgia to Mexico City and back again.

Maybe it’s just me, but Peter seemed rather pleased that she tried it, almost like he said what he said to trick her into attacking him. Whatever the dynamic, just know that Kamala dragged her for all of us, she doesn’t work for any corporations, never worked for a special interest.

She does all she does For The People.

She dragged Tulsi for you.

 

And now it’s time to support your favorite Kamala Blog, buy me weed, and help pay for all of these freaking subscriptions by donating via paypal or venmo.

TAP

New York Times